1991: Kiwiburger

December 20, 2023

By AHNZ

The Kiwiburger was the idea of franchisee Bryan Old and deployed in his five Hamilton McDonald’s restaurants. It was added to the national McMenu in 1991. According to his 2022 obituary, Old had a reputation for badgering upper McManagement with new ideas to the point where the best way to handle him was to let him try.

Another idea Old was central to was the partnership between McDonald’s and road safety which evidently spawned that ‘Make It Click’ campaign. Ronald McDonald and NZ Police sang a variation of the 1890s ‘Click Go the Shears’ tune with lyrics changed into government propaganda about wearing seatbelts.

Kiwiburger comes and goes through the years as a limited time item. KFC do the same thing with their Double-Down burger. It must not be economically efficient to carry this item on the menu all year round or that’s what they would do. Evidently the novelty factor of being re-released brings enough of a sales bump to carry the product for a few weeks but when that excitement declines it’s put back into storage.

The interesting thing about Kiwiburger is how it was marketed to New Zealander’s idea of ‘kiwi’ and how that idea has been adjusted…

“The best of ‘91 is back. One delicious 100% NZ beef patty, a succulent free-range egg, and a juicy sliced beetroot. That’s our tucker alright. Available between 11.00am and 11.00pm at participating restaurants for a limited time.” – McDonalds.co.nz (December, 2023)

“Kiwis love hot pools, rugby balls, McDonald’s, snapper schools, world peace, woolly fleece, Ronald and raising beasts. Chilly bins, cricket wins, fast skis, golf tees, Silver Ferns, Kauri trees, Kiwiburger love one please… McDonald’s Kiwiburger. The classic New Zealand burger. Cause we love All Blacks, thermal daks, egg and cheese, walking tracks, beef pattie, marching girls, tomato, lettuce and paua shells. Gumboots, ponga shoots, floppy hats, kiwifruits, beetroot, Buzzy Bees, moggy cats, cabbage trees, onions, kakapos, kia oras, cheerios, Jandals, sandals, ketchup, Coromandel’s, Swanndris, butterflies, mustard, fishing flies, Hokey Pokey, Maori haka. Kiwiburger, that’s our tucker!” – Origional Kiwiburger lyrics, McDonalds (c.1993)

“Kiwis love world peace, Kauri trees, flat whites, umu feeds, tattoos, barbeques, lavalava, vindaloo, biltong, ping pong, nuke free, rugby, beetroot n’ egg n’ cheese Kiwiburger, love one please. Cos’ we love, dolphins, chilly bins, kimchi, golf wins, hip-hop, mountain tops, hongi, hockey, sailing yachts, salsa, yeah nah, monotone, kumara, yum Cha, living free, ukulele, honey bees. Sushi, cuppa-tea, lucky cats, harmony, hot kai, league tries, ketchup on a mince pie, rainbows, chur bro, B-ball, whanau, killkltl, kapa haka, Kiwiburger, that’s our tucker.” – Aotearoa New Zealand Kiwiburger lyrics, McDonalds (2020)

“McDonald’s stated it believes that the new song will now resonate for many years to come.” – NZ Herald (2020)

“A quick scroll through the McDonald’s burger menu reveals the KiwiBurger is nowhere to be seen – despite the franchise releasing a new version of its advertising jingle last year…But it’s not the first time the burger has been booted from the menu. It was discontinued in 2004 and then returned in 2007. Just a year and a half later, it was dropped from the menu again…McDonald’s brought back the KiwiBurger briefly in 2009, and then again in August 2011 to mark the Rugby World Cup as part of its new Kiwi menu.” – Goneburgers: McDonald’s dumps KiwiBurger from its summer menu, NZ Herald (2021)

The branding used in the lyrics above show a New Zealand in a phase of high self-esteem. An era AHNZ calls Krypton Factor Dignity Culture (c.1987-1992.)

In our own time period of Aotearoa New Zealand Victimhood Culture the brand was rejiggered. In 2020 Anika Moa and Troy Kingi created new song lyrics with a Diversity and Woke branding to appeal to the then current mainstream. McDonald’s Marketing Director Jo Mitchell brought in the change using the same catch-cry as Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern in calling us a “team of 5 million.” Also saying “We are a proudly diverse nation” and that the new lyrics were “a bit more Representative of our cultural dynamics.” Ref. campaignbrief.co.nz (2020)

The 1990s Kiwis whose silver ferns, buzzy bees, and gumboots have been redacted from the song would not have recognised many of the new “Kiwi” inserts. They would have thought tattoos belonged to sailors or gang members not the heavily tattooed Maoris singing about what it is to be a Kiwi. If they knew what vindaloo, biltong, lavalava, kimchi, yum cha, sushi, rainbows, lucky cats etc. were they would have thought they were indigenous to another nation not ours. A large but marginalised group in the 2020s would still think that now.

All those years ago when McDonald’s pushed back against Bryan Old they were perhaps trying to uphold a standard, homogeneous, menu rather than short or medium-term novelty items. In giving in to him the restaurant hitched its product to a suite of Kiwi icons that would eventually be anachronistic or even Triggering. Even the restaurant’s once iconic Ronald McDonald clown mascot has been pulled from the New Zealand branding over the last few years because the Current Thing always changes. Any brand that tries to ride the tide will eventually be left high and dry. The same will happen to the 2020 version which was already in disuse 12 months later with the Kiwiburger gone from the menu despite McDonald’s stating the song would resonate for years to come. ‘Nuclear free’, tattooing, and Rainbow gender politics are 3 of the cultural-political positions McDonald’s has taken that are most likely to become abrasive first.

It would be very interesting to know what Bryan Old’s thoughts were of the new lyrics. They’re a marker that by 2020 New Zealand wasn’t a community as it had been before but had been replaced by a network. Nor was it enough for that network to facilitate multiculturalism in an Open Society that got to buy, sell, visit, live, and express itself in a common marketplace. The Anglo-Zealandian culture and its treasured icons are not allowed to persist but had to be redacted and replaced, colonised by a new Aotearoa Multiculture. That same thing has been done to New Zealand place names, government departments, TV news and weather, and race and gender-swapped media properties. It’s not OK for Anglo-Zelandian culture to co-exist even as an equal among other traditions because as we see it is deleted. Snow White, the Little Mermaid, Orphan Annie, even Isaac Newton have all been race-swapped from white to black. Mt Egmont isn’t even the official name of Mt Egmont. Rotorua Boys High replaced its Western house names for Maori words. Hawera High changed the entire name of the school to a Maori phrase. Some races and genders now have police cars and police uniforms detailed to serve their particular culture aesthetics. Even the English word ‘kiwis’ is expected to be changed to ‘kiwi’ to keep with Maori grammar which has no ‘s’ in plurals as if English grammar has to give way to language road rules that say it must always come last!¹

So, the Kiwiburger is much more than food. It’s a cultural bellwether but also a vain attempt by whoever has the McDonald’s advertising account to keep up with The Current Thing. At this point, 2024, it looks like they are rightly intimidated by the effort and deep-sixed their 2020 attempt never to be seen again.

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1 Note: The 2020 Kiwiburger campaign was called “The Kiwiburger For Kiwis” showing that ‘kiwis’ was still the mainstream plural of kiwi even in the early version of Aotearoa New Zealand culture.

Image ref. Kiwiburger advert from 1995, NZ Sound and Vision

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