1992: It’s My Sin
June 15, 2019
By AHNZ
I once thought Jan Hellriegel’s earlier all-girl band had the best name ever: Cassandra’s Heirs. A succinct, classical, way to say they were like Cassandra of Troy: Blessed to know the future but cursed never to be listened to. I think that’s genius and it still could be subliminally true. Actually though the name was Cassandras Ears.
Hellriegel started up on her own, releasing It’s My Sin in 1992. It’s the title track I’m interested in but the other power that moves me even more is The Way I Feel. Within the song there’s a potent theme that poets, artists, and Anarchists know very well. To be in the cruel position of drawing our energy from being Free Thinkers but also being crucified for it; ‘Sin’ and ‘Gin’. About a year ago I was very fortunate to have a yarn with Jan about her song…
I’ve left the trail, that millions before me
Have worn right down to the bitter core
It would take a truck
To pull me back
To the track
I don’t want no part of it all!It’ll get you into trouble yes it will!
It’s my sin
It’s my gin
It makes me win when I don’t know where
I’m going
I never ever know where I’m going
Anarchist History of New Zealand
Since I last heard this song (been a while) I’ve discovered Bob Dylan. And so now I see that he has been an influence!
Cool hope so x
Anarchist History of New Zealand
Wasn’t expecting a reply! What I also empathise with is this ‘path not taken’/’leaving the track’ theme which rightly comes with a warning. To part from the well-worn culture means you have to think for yourself which is hard enough even without the weight of social pressure trying to coral one back onto the reservation again.. Do you still think it’s a sin?
I think when you write in your formative years you may not know exactly what it is you are trying to say. On reflection do I still think it’s a sin to walk the path not normally taken? No not now. Now I realise its probably the safest route in order to find inner peace. If that makes any sense at all?
Anarchist History of New Zealand
Depends who your god is doesn’t it? If god is ‘societal convention’ then to go your own way is a ‘sin’ according to this narrative. In this song you’re singing a warning to someone inside The Matrix so “sin” is the right word.
According to J.K. Baxter you may find inner peace by being whole but also affliction. On the other hand, if you tow the line and praise the ‘trail worn right down to the bitter core’ that’s pain and torment too. Except, in the later case, ‘your words will live.’
Ref. 1957: Only That Your Words Will Live
I think there’s a hack though that words and songs also live if people mistake them for something else. Born in the USA is a good example of a song that people don’t really get, so they like it. I think It’s My Sin fits that too and especially The Way I Feel which everyone probably thinks is about the 4th Labour Government.
Thats really interesting. Thank you. Re God and the Matrix: I was raised in a secular environment so I am free from siding with any religion but do align with the some of the philosophies espoused by some over time… . I also agree with JK Baxter…. my saying is: If everything was super easy & I didn’t have to face the odd difficult time then my resilience muscles wouldn’t be in such good shape… I believe much of the hardship and disappointment over time have made me more aware of being in a state of contentment with ones relative position and stage in the journey.
Anarchist History of New Zealand
‘Social Convention’ becomes god when there’s no God and that’s where I reckon Nz has been at for some while now. Currently ‘Feelings’ and ‘Offence’ are God, we’re seeing how that works out. (I prefer philosophy).
Trouble with the “thanks for making me a fighter” attitude is that we end up praising our abusers (if that’s not too strong a term) for giving us grit and resilience. Next minute you’re Johnny Cash singing thanks to your father for giving you a name so as you’ll be picked on!¹ Baxter expected this Christ-like fate because of his father’s example. I accept that we can be resilient, content, and aware (all at the same time) without having to take a pounding for it.
Thanks for giving me a chance to talk the artist about their song. Of course I think art is power packed full of meaning even if it’s subconscious to listener and even, often, the creator.
I have really enjoyed the correspondence thank you. It’s good to take the brain for a run in the morning 🙂
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1 Referring to A Boy Named Sue
note: NZ On Screen saw the value in this conversation before I did and used a quote from it on the It’s My Sin description on their site. Good.
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